SHAME THE BLAME GAME: Personal Liberty can’t exist without Personal Responsibility and Restraint
It is easy to blame those we disagree with for all that is wrong with our government and society. Democrats blame Republicans. The Right blames the Left. Blacks blame White Racists. Everyone blames the lawyers. The list goes on and vice versa. This conditioned response that controls our lives is divisive and fails to promote an environment where lasting positive or productive problem solving can take place. It prevents real change. Why? Because it keeps us from looking at ourselves and owning our culpability and failure to take responsibility for whatever the condition that we find ourselves in. We need to be willing to fix ourselves so we can work together to change society. When we shift the responsibility for our own lives unto others, we get what they think we deserve and we lose our right to freedom and control! The very foundation of this nation was built by the principle that liberty and restraint were not opposites, but complements necessary to work in balance for a government of the people by the people to succeed. It is also no coincidence, that this is a guiding principle of most recovery programs.
In the book I penned entitled, The Power of 1(0), A Guide to Living the Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule in Modern Times, the third commandment “Do not Take the Name of the Lord in Vain or Misuse the Name of God” is discussed as the biblical basis for the principle of personal responsibility. Man’s quest for ego and greed based power and control is used to take the name of God in vain every day as a basis to separate us, instead of to bring us together. Look at all the wars throughout history fought in the name and blame of God. Calling upon God is powerful and when we invoke his name, we will generally get what we ask for, both good and bad. Our attacks on others come back to us, especially if we aren’t taking responsibility for our own acts and fixing the problems that result in stereotyped labels and attacks the Media reminds of us about daily. But if we seek truth and justice, we have to “tend our own backyard” before we can expect real unity. This applies to everything from religions, races, governments, corporations, professions, families down to each one of us. We must own our dark impulses, pay our penance and forgive the past in order to evolve.
As a woman I have experienced sexism. As a Jew I have witnessed anti-Semitism. And while there is no excuse for either, I understand the centuries of history that created this intolerable behavior. With love, grace and vigilance, we can cast aside blame and set a good example going forward and educate and forgive the ignorance of the past. I cannot suggest to any black person what they need to do to fix themselves. I can offer my support and fight the institutionalized racism that I observed growing up in metropolitan Detroit before, during and after the riots. I can call out those politicians that I believe for years have co-opted some community leaders to act more like pre-Civil War overseers for their mutual benefit at the expense of those residents who are unable to overcome the gangs, drug culture and failing educational systems to move up and out. I also have had first-hand experience as to how a community can quickly decay. As a council member of a large suburban community briefly in the early 1990’s, I was encouraged and even threatened by others with power to ignore the crime and corruption that was creeping into our community as it was “under control” when I tried to offer credible suggestions to eliminate it. Fortunately, those parties were soon gone. My life circumstances changed and I was not there long enough to see whether the problems I observed truly got fixed but I still see them in cities everywhere. These problems are solvable if there is both responsible citizen participation and the proper leadership who are there to serve the people and not be served by them. In the end, it always boils down to one principle. Follow the money and see who is benefitting by making the claim that they are taking care of you. When we take our power back and act responsibly, there is no blame to be cast. We become the leaders and our friends and neighbors suddenly are there to help. Actions speak louder than words.
Our God given life on this planet provides us with choices. We can make responsible choices and choose to be the best version of ourselves. Or we can just stand there and hurl accusations blaming each other, circumstances, or God. I would prefer to define a problem, own my culpability, if any, roll up my sleeves and work in love and peace with my friends and neighbors to dig in and fix whatever is broken, including myself and society. God made us in his or her image “to love with all our soul and all our might.” It is with self-love that we can take both personal responsibility and treat our neighbors as ourselves. This is how we can end the blame game and vanquish evil and those who wish to divide us for their need for power and control. Shed a light on truth. It is only through responsible love at all levels that good and God wins and we remain free! – Denise Alexander Pyle